CCEF Live - Free online seminars

On the first four Tuesdays of August at 3pm EDT, CCEF will host live, one-hour, online workshops on a variety of topics relevant to personal ministry, relationships, and Christian growth. Utilizing a web conferencing service called Zoom, attendees will be able to hear and see CCEF speakers live, and will be able to chat in questions live during a moderated time of Q&A.

These online workshops are free of charge, and are meant to equip and encourage those who attend with biblically rich and practically helpful training. You can read more about and register for any of the online workshops below. Registration will include a bundle of free CCEF resources and session slides that will be emailed to you after the workshop. If you are unable to attend a session but want to watch it later, video will be available online after it airs at ccef.org/live.

Five Ways to Improve Communication in Daily Ministry

Tuesday August 9th | 3pm EDT

Emotional Rehab 101

Tuesday August 23rd | 3pm EDT

You Are a Priest: Considering an Underused Identity

Tuesday August 2nd | 3pm EDT

Teaching Kids about Sex and Personal Safety

Tuesday August 16th | 3pm EDT

Parenting Adult Children (seminar)

• Are you perplexed or distressed at the choices your adult children make? 
• Are you confused about who they have become and what your relationship can or should look like now? 
• Wondering what your role should be as a Christian parent of adults?  

Earlier this year, I held a Saturday-morning seminar on parenting adult children. Topics included:

• the big picture of God’s purposes for relationships
• assessing the health and maturity of your relationship
• exploring how our changing world impactsfamily relationships
• clarifying goals and priorities
• what to strive for and what to avoid
• how to love well in disappointment or pain

Much of the audio contains information that is confidential to the participants, but here are the first 8 minutes, where you can get a feel for the direction of the seminar.

This is a seminar I would love to lead again! You can read some of the participants' feedback on my Training page.

How to Pray With Others: Ideas for Intercessory Prayer

This past weekend I was invited to help train the Prayer Intercessors at Faith Christian Fellowship. They are a volunteer team who are available to pray with people after each Sunday morning worship service at FCF. Here are my notes and the audio recording of my talk, in hopes that it might help you pray with others in a wise and helpful way.

How to Pray With Others

Things to consider

• Warmly welcome: smile, make eye contact, give your first name, ask theirs.
• Your purpose is to make the person asking for prayer feel listened to and cared for and prayed for without receiving advice or other forms of counsel.  It’s an opportunity to be with a person where they are at – and take their concerns to the throne of God.
• All you really need is sincerity, compassion and a conviction about God’s goodness.
• Use “we” when appropriate to communicate our need is essentially the same – we are not the ‘arrived’ who pray for the ‘needy’ – we are all in need of God’s grace.
• Do a small amount of listening to get gist. It’s okay to ask them what specifically they might want prayer for in the midst of it.
• Pray for the external situation and pray for them in the situation …
• Ask before any touching – sometimes holding hands is okay, or a hug at end.  Use judgment, depending on how well you know person, their comfort level, gender dynamics, etc.
• It’s okay to take a moment of silence before praying.
• It’s a conversation with God, so talk as though He is in room (because He is!).

“Ask God for what you want, by all means. But also ask God for what you’ll need if he doesn’t give you what you want.”

— David Powlison

• Pray scripture about God’s character, works and promises.
• Prayers that enable them to live out the two great commandments – loving God and loving others.
• Consider a structure if helpful, such as the comfort and the call of the gospel.
• It’s okay to pray in generalities about things you don’t know (like how the trial is affecting them). There is much to pray for that is common to all of us.
• Consider male / female dynamics, and whether both of you or just one of you will pray.
• Keep requests confidential.
• If person discusses anything troubling, ask if they want any follow up from a church leader if appropriate. Ask if you can get back to them after you have spoken with someone.
• If an issue of safety comes up (like suicide or abuse), get another person involved right away. Ask if someone else can pray too. It’s ok to ask a specific question (like “Are you suicidal right now?”) if you’re not sure.

Things to avoid

• Counseling God on how specifically to fix the situation.
• Giving the person specific counsel through your prayer.
• Imposing your own temptations and challenges into the prayer – they may be responding to the trial differently than you would.
• Being long-winded or reflexively repetitive.
• Using a lot of churchy jargon.
• Don’t show a lot of sympathy; rather, if someone is telling you a hard situation, just show non-verbally that you understand.  It’s okay to say something like “that sounds hard,” then “Okay, well let’s take this to God.”

“The older I get, the more I think that to pray with someone is the best gift you can give them.”

— Kim Sutter

Resources mentioned

• Prayer is a great place to begin biblical counseling - a blog post by David Powlison
• A Method of Prayer - a book by Matthew Henry
• Weird things we say when we pray - Tim Hawkins (also embedded below - starts at 0:37)

Encouraging pastors' wives

“Kim Sutter addressed ministry spouses on “Why Is Ministry Hard and What Can We Do About It?” this morning at the Chesapeake Presbytery. Sue Frech and I shared Parakaleo tools... Gift bags and snacks were also involved!”

— Maria Garriot, Director of Special Projects at Parakaleo

Learn more about Parakaleo's important work here.

Dealing with Anxiety (audio & handouts)

Earlier this year, I had the privilege of leading a class on anxiety at Faith Christian Fellowship. 

This 4 week class takes us through Psalm 27 as a framework for looking at how anxiety affects us and how we can turn to God for help and hope. Topics include our role and God's role, contentment vs. anxiety, and how to help others who are anxious.  

Class 1 Handout

Class 2 Handout 

Class 3 Handout 1 & Handout 2

Class 4 Handout